Medication

I am not qualified to talk to anyone about what they should or shouldn't do with regards to medication for anything.

I take atomoxetine (the brandname you may hear is Strattera), and have done so for about a decade now. For me, the fact that I take one pill daily and get a clearer brain 24/7 is awesome. That, and the fact that it's not as regulated a substance as stimulants are make me really glad that it worked so well for me. I think I would struggle having to schedule when my brain is going to be functional, but I know that for some people, that works great! The side effects of atomoxetine if it doesn't work for you are pretty intense, so I never make recommendations, talk with your doctor, look at the risks and make your own choices.

I have been asked before to discribe what being medicated does for me, and that is something I'm willing to talk about. When I discribe what it was like the first time I took my medication, I liken it to listening to a dial radio. Everything was a bit static-y and fuzzy, and then suddenly it was like the dial tuned in to the right frequency and the audio came in really clearly. all of my senses at once. Just like the first time I tried on glasses, I hadn't really realized that everything was static-y until I finally saw things clearly for the first time. I will admit, for me, it was an absolutely amazing experience that hit the first day I took the first (very small) dose.

Additionally, my impulsivity and hyperfocus were reduced. It's still something that I deal with, but at a much less intense level.

I definitely still have issues with executive function, and I still have situations where I get overstimulated. But I now have enough self awareness that I can acknowledge when and how those are issues. Before I got my meds, I couldn't track what I was doing well enough to identify things like that.

I know that one of the worries that many people have about going on brain meds of any kind is that it will 'change who they are'. I can not speak for anyone else, but for me.. It's definitely true that I am a different person on my meds than off them. I've been off them for a few days at a time multiple times in the past decade (health insurance complications/moving states/etc) and I can definitely tell the difference (as can those around me, and a big thank you for dealing with me during those times to them!) But as I see it, I'm more me on these meds than off them. That may seem like a bit of a weird thing to say, so I'll explain myself. On my meds I have more self-control, which means my behaviors are more in line with my beliefs, and are less reactionary. I have a better sense of self and my surroundings.

The so-called "ADHD Superpowers" that I have, I still have access to. I still hyperfocus, I still make more/weirder quick jump connections between thoughts, I am still a creative, enthusiastic, outgoing person. I just have so much more control over those parts of myself. It took a lot of time and work to learn how to use that control effectively. I still had to build systems to work with the way my brain works, but the bit of space and clarity that the meds give me let me actually build them.